Rambling Thoughts Coalescing Into Words

Autumn meet me at the table

 

6-9-15

So, I’m supposed to be writing more, as in every day!  I feel like I should be spending an hour at the bare minimum developing my ‘craft’, aka writing, even though I’m not exactly sure what that means.

Since I’m really working on being a good student, I am here sitting at my desk trying to not be distracted by the view out my windows so I can do this thing called writing. Also, I’m trying to shut out the voices that are laughing at me and saying, “Who do you think you are? You’re not a writer! You’re wasting your time. No one will read anything you have to say.” Shut up voices.

Whether anyone ever reads a single sentence I write, I am going through with this.  I will never write anything if I don’t make time to do it or practicing the doing. So, here goes……

See look; three short paragraphs already! Woo Hoo, what a rock star I am! Okay, just kidding. I obviously don’t have a clue what to write about today but still it doesn’t matter. I know if I keep going, something will come out of it. A coherent thought will finally land and then I will expound on it. Yeah! That’s the ticket.

One recent thing I’ve done is finish reading Stephen Kings book, On Writing, a Memoir of the Craft. I read a great review of it by Steve (not Stephen) Bremner and afterwards, I was intrigued. So much so, I went out and got my own Kindle copy; it turns out that Steve was right. There were so many nuggets in that book to help me on my journey. Tucked inside the book are nuggets about whether to plot or not to plot, (sorry), adjectives and why they should die, tips about the 1st draft vs. the 2nd draft. All right there for the taking.

I’m so glad I did read this book. Whether I ever write a book, fiction or otherwise, I have gleaned much from it.  I’m optimistic that there is even more in there that is waiting for me to discover. Yes, I do realize I’m being vague but I’m not here to tell you bit by bit what you need to know. I’m actually here to tell you that it’s in there and this is to be considered an invitation or maybe a treasure map that has a great big X on it marking where the treasure is. It says you are here X, and the treasure is here X. Come and get it!

6-23-15

It’s obvious by the above date that some time has elapsed since writing the first part of this. And it might also be obvious that I didn’t exactly write for an hour each day. It’s okay because I’m writing now. Or am I? Is it writing if I simply type out the things that are running through my head? I believe it may well be. (Smile)

Note: Apparently I didn’t have much running through my head. But then again, between these two dates, I did have a birthday, I did bake lots of orders and I did work many hours at Ziggy’s.

I believe I need to start using the voice recorder on my phone to write down thoughts because I’m almost always driving when I have ideas about what to blog about or just things to write down. Probably should…..

7/4/15 (Happy Birthday America)

I’ve been thinking about social media lately and how in the last 8 or so years it’s changed my life, and the lives of many other people also; for the good and the bad.  While on Facebook I got to minister to and encourage many people that I knew and many that I didn’t even know I was even speaking to until sometime later. I began to come out of my shell more and more as boldness was being established in me. Yes, I do know that many people are a lot more brave or bold on social media and say a lot more on social media than they ever would if someone was actually standing in the same room with them. Oh, I know that indeed, and it’s not always good.

But that’s not what I’m talking about in reference to my boldness at all. What I’m talking about is the boldness to think I might have something to say that someone else may need. I started to write out experiences that I had had and things I had learned. My introvert-ism began turning into an ambivert-ism (as a friend calls it.) I wasn’t transformed into an extravert but I was no longer an introvert so the term ambivert fits pretty well. I could step into which ever type of vert  was needed for the situation and still keep it real and not something contrived to ‘fit in’ with the social media crowd I happened to be engaging with at the time.

So that was a pretty cool thing I got from social media. Another was all the people I’ve met and come to know and love over the years. Wow! It’s amazing how you really can form lasting relationships with people whom you’ve never physically met in your life. I’ve been blessed to have quite a few of these relationships and feel honored that these people would call me friend.

But what got me thinking about social media and how it’s changed me over the last several years was a conversation I was having with someone who was over for an intercessory meeting last week. We got to talking about Facebook in general and of course the recent Supreme Court decision also came up and all the craziness happing on any and all social media. And the craziness wasn’t just on Facebook; it was everywhere, no matter where you turned. I for one had no clue what was going on other than simply being aware of the Court’s decision. I had left FB back at the first of the year and gone over to MeWe, which was apparently not experiencing any of the same reactions from believers or non-believers. (That is, at least among my contacts, etc.)

The person I was conversing with, like many others, had never heard of MeWe. I went in to my usual ad campaign for the sight, espousing all the great things about it, like no ads, we own the content, not the other way around and how peaceful and quiet in general it is. I told her that one of my favorite features was the ability to actually use my voice to speak a comment or post. I was talking about how cool it is to actually use the power of your words, in the audible sense to pray for someone and to let that sound reverberate over them as opposed to simply typing out words to my prayers.

While talking about the power of my words it got me thinking………

We are so used to typing our words via text, emails, inboxing/private messaging and status updates that I wonder if this is something the enemy uses to steal some of the power of our words or prayers? Is all this non-verbal communication something that is so prevalent and normal in our culture that we have stopped using our audible voices and the power behind them? I know that I love to talk to someone face to face but that’s not possible, the next best thing is talking on the phone to someone. But sadly, many people don’t even use the phone to talk anymore, instead they choose to text their conversations. I find this not only puzzling but sad. The sound of someone’s voice is priceless; especially if you can’t be face to face.

Again, these were just some of my thoughts and actually have made me start to pray into some of these things. I’ve been asking the Lord about how to be more intentional in using my words, especially my spoken words. And I’ve been talking to Him about how to actually begin using methods of audible speech more often and more effectively. I know this is possible on MeWe and Voxer but I’m guilty of all the sad things others are doing; I text more often than pick up my phone and call someone. I type out conversations on MeWe rather than using a built in feature that allows me to use my voice; I simply haven’t really utilized the resources I’ve had at hand very much.

I can only guess the reason I haven’t used the audible resources that much is this thing about me not liking the sound of my recorded voice. I cringe when I hear it and say, ‘Is that my voice? I don’t sound like that!’ So, I tend to type out things rather than speak them, I don’t even give it much thought, most days.

Honestly, I don’t want to be a hypocrite and talk about using our voices when I don’t even do it myself. Help me Lord! But then again, this not liking my own voice could be something the enemy planted years ago that I’ve come into agreement with, or simply fear that I came into agreement with. Whichever the case may be, it’s simply not acceptable; I will just have to jump that chicken line of sounding terrible and SPEAK my words, by golly!

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Time keeps on slipping, into the future (Steve Miller)

Time slipps on by

In all the busyness of life, I sometimes feel like I’ve missed out on things or should have been a part of some things but there didn’t seem to be enough time. I have no desire to live in regret but I do have desire to connect with people and to be able to have time to accomplish all the things I set out to do. So I don’t live in regret but I sometimes do live in puzzlement over the aspect of time occasionally. I mean, we’re all given the same 24 hours each day right? So why does it sometimes it feels like I have fewer hours than that? If you were to look at my ‘to do’ list and what actually got done, this would seem to be the case. I know, I know; I need to prioritize my time better. And some days, I do.

But then there are the times when all these thoughts melt away. They melt away when I turn my focus from regret of things that haven’t gotten done and turn it to my Father instead, He will tell my soul that all is well. There’s a peace that comes while with Him and with it is assurance that there is time, more than enough time. And, I haven’t really missed anything at all.

All the while I’m interacting with God; time loses meaning. It no longer has a pull on me.  So I often I wonder where does all the time go, I mean really, where is it?!  When I’m out and about doing life it seems like there is a huge hole in my bucket and time slips away, almost without me noticing it. Time was a thing created for us here on earth and when I blink, it’s gone or so it feels. Where does it end up? Is there a black hole in the spirit realm just teaming with all the lost time? Maybe it’s looping back around into eternity to be spent then.

Another occasion this ‘slippage ’ of time seems to happen is when I have an event scheduled weeks or months out; sometime out in the future where I can’t really grab a hold of it.  I plan and get organized for the event (as much as I know how to prepare), but it seems that there is only so much I can do since it’s so far away.  What the event is doesn’t really matter. It could be that someone ordered dozens of pies for a wedding or simply friends coming to visit.

Suddenly this event that was way off in the distance is here, it’s right now. So, how does this happen? Where did all the time in between go? What happened to that period of time where I could anticipate the arrival, get more things done in advance? Where’s the middle time? Why didn’t I see time departing and the event approaching? So many mysteries; or are they just silly questions?

I guess I need to investigate this loss of middle time, it’s just a mystery to me how this can happen. I love suddenlies but not so much in this context. What this feels like is one minute I had all the time I needed to get ready and prepare but suddenly everything needs to be done, TODAY, right now! It’s here! The day that was so distant has arrived.

Am I the only one this happens to? Is it just me that gets so caught up in the day to day living and life stuff that I can’t even see the train coming at me? Yes, that was a little melodramatic, I know but even though the suddenly of the event being here is great and brings with it much expectation, it often feels like I have been blindsided by it. How could this have happened to me again?

So what I’m left with is running around finding the ducks I left lying about, here and there and spend all the remaining time left trying to get them all in a row!

Epilogue

My times are in his hands and if I don’t sweat the small stuff all will be well. And you know what? It always turns out well.  So, where ever that middle time went, I suppose I will never know. But one thing I do know is that most of the time when I’m blindsided by the arrival of an ‘event’, I’m the only one who knows it. So I hear ringing in my head: Let it go, let it go, let it go……..enjoy the day; it is sufficient for my needs.

It is well. Yes indeed

Friends – New and Old

Everyone left today.  The pictures are no longer filled with their beautiful presence. But don’t think this is about loss or I’m being melancholy, this is simply the quiet interlude before the next adventure. . . .

Everyone's gone1

It’s funny how bittersweet the leaving can be. While we all knew this weekend would come to a close, that we’d all have get back to our own individual lives, it’s kind of a shock when it actually arrives. Not a bad thing really, just a re-adjust.

I had two precious friends who came from North Carolina and spent the weekend at my house. I also had another friend that lives here who came also.  Kimberly Ann is one who came from North Carolina and she and I had met on Facebook but had never met face to face before. When she arrived, I didn’t have any idea what to expect but I found out right away that she is a riot and even more fun than I  could have guessed in my wildest dreams; she is definitely fun-sized indeed. She’s big folks! I can’t wait to see how our relationship will grow and what paths it will take. Thank you so much for coming Kim. The trust you placed in us to keep you save, to love you unconditionally and to accept you as the beautiful woman of God that you are, is almost overwhelming; almost. Thank you for that. You are beautiful.

everyone's gone2

KK, also hailing from North Carolina, is someone I met back in 2009 on Facebook and became an instant friend. We began talking on the phone and on Facebook, getting to know one another better. In 2012 she and another Facebook friend came and spent a week with me, (us). It was the first time we met face to face and I have to tell you; having KK back in my house blessed me so much! She is so kind, wise and such a joy to be around. I guess that’s why she signs everything, Kindly Karen. (Smile). She and I have shared so many trials and victories over the years. She knows what being a sister is all about. If you ever need an intercessor with clear vision and an ever expanding heart, KK is your girl.  I love her so…..

Everyone's gone3

Mary who lives here and is part of our home group is a very special friend. I was so happy that she was able to come and spend 2 days with us. She had gotten to meet KK back in 2012 and was looking forward to meeting up with her again too. It was a great reunion for them.  One thing I can tell you about Mary is that she is one of the most compassionate people I know. She has such love in her touch, her voice and even the words she chooses. Don’t get me wrong; she’s a pistol and it’s one of my favorite things about her, it’s the side she most often shows. That is what is so wonderful about her; when that love and compassion comes out it is so breathtaking and beautiful, and yes sometimes almost unexpected. I’ve learned so much from just being around her. She is a deep deep well and is certainly one of my most favorite people on the planet.

Everyone's gone4

Mary left after 10 pm last night and we were pretty sad to have to see her go. KK and Kimberly and I ended up staying awake and talking until well after 1 am. Argh….the 5:30 alarm was not going to be a welcome noise in the morning. The North Carolina girls had a long journey ahead of them and were planning on leaving early.

Leave taking was put off by sitting and drinking coffee for a couple more hours before saying our final goodbyes; for this adventure anyway.

And then they were gone. What remained were memories and a deeper bond of love that cannot be stolen. The house seems quieter now; girls can be so loud in their merriment and love.

And you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing about this weekend, except I would stop time if I could. What a joy all three of these women are! What passion and strength they exude! If you don’t know them…..you should make it a point to change that.

Everyone's gone5

A day in the life. . . .

red wasp

Yesterday I had finally gotten the chance to get back out and do some much needed weeding in my back yard. After about an hour, Paul was able to come out and help too. We really made a lot of progress and the garden was beginning to re-emerge again. It was in such bad shape! I believe that every weed seed that landed on the ground took root.

We’d already been out there a couple of hours or more taking back the land, so to speak when I decided I had done enough. I got up to go inside to use the restroom before picking up all the tools and piles of weeds.

While in the restroom, I saw something moving on my shoulder out the corner of my eye. I reached around and grabbed whatever it was and felt a sting. When I saw that I had a red wasp in my hand and it had already stung me, I threw it on the floor and stomped it! (It had gotten caught in my hair and I’ll admit it kind of freaked me out a bit!) I then flushed that still wiggling wasp down the toilet, where it belonged! TMI, yeah.

As soon as I took my focus off the wasp, I immediately began experiencing pain. I had gotten stung at the top of my arm but then the pain started shooting across my shoulder blade and down my arm, spreading out from the wound site. I can’t tell you how mad that made me! I began rebuking the pain and telling the venom that it had no right to move through my body like that. It had to stop right now in Jesus name. I wasn’t going to stand for it!

I looked in the mirror at the sting sight and it was already swelling up a great deal. I laid my hand over it and prayed again; rebuking pain and swelling.

After that, I went outside and told Paul about the wasp and what had happened. When we looked at the sting site again, the swelling had stopped increasing and was actually in a reversal. Paul prayed something about the histamines and the pain lessened even more. That was good enough for me. I considered it a done deal.

We cleaned up all our gardening mess, put away our tools and went back inside.

When I got in the shower a few minutes later, there was a little pain but the area around the site was still red, but the swelling was completely gone. By the time I got out, even the redness was gone and there was no pain whatsoever. The only sign that the sting had been there was the little red dot where the puncture happened.

I’ve never had a wasp sting dissolve and go away like that before. It has always taken at least a day if not two to heal.

One thing I can tell you; Prayer works! I know I was divinely healed and when we stand in our authority and pray and declare from that place, miracles happen…..THIS miracle happened!

Today I’m pain free and can hardly find where I got stung. Remember, this is normal, everyday life folks. This is the inheritance we get to walk in today. Invite God into your life and expect Him to show up, because He will.

Miracles happen all the time and today, I experienced one.

Potted flowers

I was carrying out some plants to the front porch to their summer home earlier today and then decided to take them to the bottom of the steps since it was raining and a good soaking would do them good. I had carried three down the steps and was carrying the forth one when my left foot slipped on the slippery step and slid down four of them. Sadly, my right foot stayed behind me and when I fell, it was to slide down 4 concrete steps with my right leg bent behind me and my shin taking the brunt of the impact. (I’m so thankful I had put jeans on instead of the shorts I started to. It would have really been a bloody mess.)

It happened so fast; one minute I was carrying the potted plant and the next it was shattered on the steps and me, I was sprawled halfway down, stuck even. It took a moment for me to get my leg untwisted so I could get up and access the damage.  The flower pot didn’t make it sadly but I had no broken bones at least. What I did have was a nasty abrasion on my shin and shooting pain down my leg that began at the hip socket on the outside of my right thigh.  Ouch! Poor Paul, he was not feeling well himself so was resting in the room just above the steps. He was awakened by the crashing sound of the flower pot and had no clue what it was. When he looked out the window, it was to see me trying to pull myself back up from my sprawl.

I came in the house to changed clothes so I could assess the damage.  I saw that my shin was totally purple where the abrasion was and my joints:  knee, hip, and ankle were shooting pain. I had a nine inch abrasion on my shin, a small one by my knee and a bruise on my big toe and foot. (so much for the flip flops). After taking inventory, I had the thought I wouldn’t be able to work later this week because I was expecting my leg to just get more stiff and sore as time passed since it hurt so much and looked terrible.

Paul prayed, and apparently so did many others and to be honest, I just wanted to go lie down! I was in the middle of baking cookies and when that last batch came out, I limped into my office to get my bottle of water and my tablet so I could then go rest. As I was walking to my office I felt a shift in the spirit, then in my leg. The joint and muscle pain ceased by at least 50 percent and much of the purple bruising had disappeared. That was so cool. But I was still determined to go and rest a while: I took an ibuprofen and went to lie down for about 30 minutes.

When I got up, the abrasion was diminished even more! The pain in my hip and leg was completely gone and I wasn’t walking with a limp. The pain had been so severe than I couldn’t walk without a limping.  Now there wasn’t any swelling, tingling or shooting pain whatsoever!

I have since gone out and ran some errands and still all is well. If anything, the abrasion is getting even better. It’s amazing!

Paul told Jesus, Thank you! And Jesus told him, “It’s what I do.”

And I say: Thank you Jesus!

And thank you everyone else for praying. He’s a miracle working God! I am healed when I thought I was going to be stiff and sore for days! He is so good.

The first picture is kind of dark. I couldn’t lift my leg very well so I had to make do with the lighting.  Notice all the bruising  and purple areas.

20150414_103904

The second picture is lighter in exposure but you can see the huge difference……20150414_154852

Honoring Mothers

Mother's day post

Mother’s Day is on May 10th this year and that makes it less than a month away. I have to find a victim, quick! No, really. Let me explain…….

My mother passed away 6 years ago and because she has gone on, it doesn’t exempt me from honoring mothers all around me. There are single mothers who need encouraging, spiritual mothers who need honoring, sisters who have forgotten how awesome they truly are or maybe you’re a mother to orphans who simply needs someone to listen to what has happened in your day. The need is greater than we know.

I’ve heard it said that Mother’s Day is only a ‘Hallmark’ holiday and it doesn’t really matter that much but this couldn’t be further from the truth! It matters a lot. No, it doesn’t matter how the world celebrates or even doesn’t celebrate; WE are of a different kingdom and we know how important mother’s are, right?!

Mothers are the very first teachers we have and they impart so much with their time, their love and their wisdom. Mothers are our first confidants and the first ones we run too when we are little. Remember those mashed up flowers we grabbed with our tiny little hands just so we could present them to our mommy’s? Remember how she kissed our owie’s away and everything was all better?

And when we are older and our relationships with our mothers were more than a little strained because WE knew absolutely everything and she was only trying to keep us from all that WE knew we could do. Right…..even those days she was there; washing our sheets, making us meals and even praying for our safety and for wisdom to ‘please dear God’ land on us! I know I wasn’t the easiest daughter to raise; maybe not the worst but in hind sight, I could have honored her more.

But this is not about regrets! NOPE. This is about loving and honoring the women who have raised us and mentored us. It’s also about those we came to depend on in our time of need. Let’s not let an opportunity pass to honor these great women. And you do realize,  whether a woman believes in Jesus like we do or not has nothing to do with it at the end of the day. Jesus knows her and He loves her well. We should also.

So, my challenge to you is this…….

Find someone to honor and celebrate extravagantly this year. Take them to dinner, send them something in the mail, go clean their house or buy them flowers. And most importantly, tell them how much they’ve meant to you, how they’ve spoken into your life. How awesome they are!

And then, come back and share the testimony of how blessed they were by your kindness!

This is a picture of my mom when I was 8.

Mom pic

A Day in the Life

Woman in a Carboard Box

I have a question: Am I radical? meaning, do I live too far out of the box and would you be more comfortable if I were inside that box?

I was talking with someone yesterday about the weather and our authority over it. You see, we had planned a Christmas luncheon for the Healing Center I work in and by the reports of the weather men; we weren’t going to be able to have it. Those that were coming lived in different parts of the state and had many miles to travel to get here and with all the freezing rain and ice that they were predicting that would be impossible to do. (Not to mention, this is the south and we don’t drive on ice, we just don’t do it).

A few days before the event, we began making declarations to the weather systems, the powers and prince of the air and putting them on notice that we would in fact have our meeting and the weather would not manifest as the weathermen kept predicting. We would not dodge the bullet but instead, we were removing the bullet!  We then sent an email out to everyone asking for agreement with our declarations.

On Saturday, that’s exactly what happened; every person who was to come to this event came and there were NO problems with the roads. They were perfectly dry, and of course, we were not surprised.

So back to my conversation yesterday: This person was commenting about the email we sent out about coming into agreement over the weather. They personally wanted it to snow and become icy but they felt a conviction from God to ‘get over it’ and agree with us, which they did. Also, they wondered about us praying like that in the first place. I corrected her and said we weren’t “praying” at all or asking God for anything, but instead we were declaring and commanding as God had given us authority to do. We can’t keep asking God to do for us what He’s expecting us to do.

While she agreed with this on some level (her words), she thought it was a radical belief. As in who does this??  Don’t we just pray and ask God for protection and to keep us safe and that’s it?

I answered, ME, I do this and I’ve seen too much happen to stop declaring now! And no, we don’t just pray for God to do everything for us. We take dominion and declare the enemy’s hand is removed.

I had this conversation about 5 years ago but the question still remains; am I radical, do I live too far out of the box, or are there better questions?

Are you living in a box?

Are you experiencing the kingdom?

Are you walking out the things you talk about?

Me – I’m living on the edge, as far as I can go, today. Tomorrow, the edge will extend out even further.

To answer the original question, no, I’m not radical; this is normal everyday life for believers and especially me. This is what normal is in the Kingdom, but not normal by the worlds standards. I won’t live in that box! If that scares you, stick around because you ain’t seen nothing yet!

On Good Friday, we were yet again declaring storms to cease. Another day in the life. . . .. .