Turn the page…

sleepy kitty

I’ve been on a bit of a journey of late. Albeit an unwelcome one, I did glean a few things from it. And that’s the point of a journey when it’s all said and done, right – to capture some elusive thing that wouldn’t have otherwise been discovered – at least maybe?

So here’s what happened:

On Thursday, as many of you know, I came down with a stomach virus and had to leave work early. I won’t go into all the gory details of driving home in rush hour traffic while throwing up. No, I won’t.  Once I got home, Paul sent out some prayer request on Facebook and as the faithful people you are, you responded in turn. Thank you, for those prayers.

By Friday morning I wasn’t much better which of course may have something to do with the fact I was up all night – maybe. My lack of energy and basically feeling sore all over forced me to be in bed all day, but I did sleep a lot.

When I got up on Saturday morning better – so much so, I thought I could go into work and at least stay for a good part of my shift. I was wrong – back to bed I went, after driving all the way there and back again.

By now, it’s Saturday mid-day, I’m in bed and going bonkers! I don’t feel bad enough to stay in bed but every time I get up I feel out of breath and woozy. My computer, which is a desktop, is in the other room and my phone just isn’t a great substitute for a keyboard for me. I just need something to do!

I went into the living room where we had moved the TV and tried my hand at flipping channels, but that didn’t even work. I somehow got confused about which auxiliary I was using or what channel I needed to be on or something. Either way, I couldn’t get it figured out and only ended up more frustrated; so I went back to bed and took another nap.

When I woke up, I discovered that I’m starving! That’s a sign of getting better, right? Food wasn’t making me nauseous anymore so naturally, Paul and I decided to go out and get some food for an early mother’s day dinner. We had a great time, I was feeling a lot better and of course the company was the best. The food on the other hand was a stupid (for me) mistake – I ordered pizza. Yes, see what I mean?

By the time I got back home I was already feeling very sore in my stomach and had indigestion to boot. Needless to say, I was up all night again. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. (Not me, but my choices!)

And then it was Sunday, Mother’s Day…and where am I? You guessed it; I’m in bed having a great big pity party because I can’t do anything except stay in bed. I can’t even have coffee…again!

Did I mention somewhere the fact that I never get sick? It’s true, I almost never get sick and maybe that’s why this was such a difficult time. Or, I don’t know, maybe a tough strain of virus!?

But, to explain, this post isn’t to depress you. No, it’s to tell you what I learned from all this. (Smile)

  1. I hate being sick!
  2. I’m a terrible patient!
  3. I don’t do well without food! (It makes me hangry!)
  4. I’m grumpy
  5. No coffee??? I can’t even…
  6. I develop ADD when I have to stay in bed. (Aka, I am so restless!)
  7. I am more stubborn than I knew. (Okay, some people already know this)

But what I did learn was that I really can rest. It’s a work, for sure and maybe that’s what is meant by, “Strive to enter into His rest”, but I did manage to do it. I also learned that listening to Wisdom and not being impatient early in the game is much better than realizing it later and paying dire consequences. (At least in this case)

During those times of restlessness I was whining to God and having a big ole pity party. (I can’t even begin to call it prayer because it wasn’t.) I felt so left out of everything; all alone. I even began to entertain lies about not doing enough, not writing enough, not whatever enough! I was getting really sad and depressed for a while there! Yes, of course I realized those were lies I was listening to but sometimes, I find myself there in the midst of them anyway.

Eventually, God interrupted those voices and I plainly heard Him say, “You don’t need to do anything; you are enough exactly as you are. You are loved right now, right where you are; even in bed being sick. I love you.”

The lies left immediately. I let out a big sigh and had a few tears. He is so good. He was with me the entire time and when I quit listening to lies, I heard him and felt Him near. He didn’t need me to do anything or be anything. He simply wanted me to rest and feel how loved I am. And really, is there a better gift than that?

One more thing I need to mention. I also learned that even in the midst of suffering, I am a very blessed woman.  I was in a warm/cool home of my own, not out on the street. I had many loving friends and family members praying for me. I had a sweet wonderful husband who was always available for any need I had and I even had a sweet kitty by my side the whole time demonstrating what peace and rest was all about. (First world blessings, I say)

I am alive and doing fine, thank you very much. Turn the page…

 

Picture found here: http://www.petpictures.xyz

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Let Dissapointments Go

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Okay, so I’m not going to work after all. Yesterday when I set out to do some ‘fall decoration’ shopping I noticed that the radio and the gauges had stopped working when I started the car. O no. When I removed my foot from the accelerator, they started working again. Again, O no.

I called Paul but he couldn’t come home then because he was in the middle of a landscaping job and he wouldn’t be able to look at the car until later in the evening, probably after dinner. Sigh.

I confess I had a melt-down and a big ole pity party. Nope I didn’t invite anyone else either. I am so done with car problems! I had taken the day off work so I could bake some new items for my Etsy shop in order to photograph them, and then upload everything to promote what I added. All the baking was finished and now I needed to go get some pumpkins and other ‘fall-like’ decorations.

I confess that I let disappointment have its way for about an hour. Then, I decided that if I couldn’t go to the store I would at least spend my time wisely by working online at my shop and get some things reorganized.

While sitting in my office, I started looking around the room, as I tend to do while thinking, and noticed some silk flowers up on the bookshelf by the door. They reminded me of some other things I had around the house that I could use for fall decorations. The next thing you know, I was pulling everything back out of the freezer, where I put it during my pity party, and started planning a layout for my pictures. They weren’t exactly what I had originally envisioned but they did turn out more me, if you know what I mean and I didn’t spend a dime on decorations. DSC02413

But back to the car; I was scheduled to work a double shift on Saturday (today) but didn’t see how that would happen because the car wasn’t working. When Paul did look at it he discovered that the wire thingy that connected the alternator to the power source had broken off, leaving half the bolt in the alternator and the other half in the wire thing, which by the way was melted. Very strange.

I can say is that I am blessed indeed that I didn’t break down at 10:30 at night while on my way home from work! Nope, everything was working fine on Thursday night when I came home. The trouble started as soon as I started it on Friday. It did start for me though, and I even drove it around the block once, not wanting to drive too far but wanting to see what it would do. It didn’t start at all for Paul and when he lifted the hood he noticed that the wire thingy wasn’t even touching the alternator. No wonder it wouldn’t start.

After several phone calls to local auto parts stores to see if we had purchased the alternator there, with no success, we found our receipt; it was still under warranty! This morning Paul took it out, went to the store we purchased it from 2 years ago and picked up another one, at no charge. In the mean time, I had already informed work that I most likely wouldn’t make the morning shift but would try and get there by the evening one.

Paul surprised me by getting everything installed and tested by 10:00 while I was off doing other things. I wasn’t even remotely ready for work! Woops. I called the manager to let her know that I would be in to work in about an hour but she didn’t answer her phone. I figured she would find out I was coming when I walked in the door but instead, she called me when I had only gone a few miles down the interstate. I told her the good news about the car, etc. and she said she was about to call me to say why not just stay home? They had more people scheduled than she realized and I could take some more time off. She said she knew how stressed I’d been lately because I haven’t had time to work in my Etsy shop so she gave me the day off! How wonderful is that??

That’s the story of how I’m not going to work today. Correction, I did end up driving out to go pick up my check and deliver most of the goodies I used in my pictures…..they certainly couldn’t remain here at my house! Win, win I say.

God is good, all the time, every day, and every moment. He is in the midst of everything. He kept me safe on my journey home the other night, we had favor with the parts people, we had favor with the installation of the part and I had favor at work. I am highly favored and extremely blessed. As a matter of FACT, I know you are too. I hope you realize it and see Him in the midst of everything you do and see.

And I almost forgot: I did get to take pictures of everything baked and I need to remember that there’s always a way, even when I don’t see one. It took me a little bit to get over myself and my disappointment but when I did, things turned out even better than I expected. When God meets me right where I am it’s the most wonderful, humbling experience.

I pray we can learn to get over ourselves and get out of our own way and let the King of Glory show us what He can do because it’s always better than we can think or imagine. I ended yesterday still a little bit discouraged because of the car but He is so faithful to take care of us that I should have known better. Oh well, I am human after all (smile) and that’s why we all need His grace. I fell into that grace through this. Who would have thought, certainly not me.